Evacuation Gone Wrong

Had one too many Red Bull’s last night so decided to stay up and watch Saturday Night Live with my mom when we heard a loud noise coming from the basement and what sounded like an intruder. My mom just froze so I took to the nearest exit -- the bedroom window. My mom said trying to jump out a 2-story window was not the best solution considering the fact that the window was shut and that I should have dialed 911 instead. What a diva, like she couldn't have dialed 911 herself; and who keeps their windows closed anyway? In the wild you have only seconds to react or be killed, there’s no planning it's all instinct. But, NO, I’m supposed to devise an evacuation plan for emergency preparedness in evacuating the building “safely” next time. My mom would never make it in the wild with her road map for life mentality, but I know that if I say something, she’ll think I’m being combative and lecture me about probation and some three strike rule..... I don't even like baseball.

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